Chenai Kelly-Rose Heward

Chenai Kelly-Rose Heward
11th-14th Aug 2007
aged 3days
Angel to Daddy Darren & Mummy Clare

This is my story of my beautiful little girl. Let me start back in November 2006 when I found out I was pregnant. Me & my fella (Darren) fell in love with the thought of having a baby, we even found a house and set up home ready for the baby.

Went to the 12 week scan found out I was 14 weeks, even closer to having our longed for baby in our arms. Seeing her for the first time was amazing. At the 5months scan, we found out the baby was a little girl. I had a 250 units Anti-D injection to stop mine and baby's blood from mixing. We were overjoyed, we started picking names, getting girly clothes, and everything was going brill. Baby Chenai, the name we decided on, was healthy & growing really well. I was seeing the midwife every two weeks, going to Mums and Tums classes which explain everything that would happen in labour. Chenai was kicking like a footy player. We didn't expect anything to go wrong.

Then on 9th August 2007, my movements became so slow, I didn't think much of it at the time cos I was walking around & she always slept alot while I was moving, but I really started to worry the next day when she was still being quiet. Normally when Darren gets up for work she would be kicking & wide awake, that Friday morning she wasn't. This was about 6.45, at 8.30 I still had nothing. I drank ice cold water & still nothing.
I rang my best friend D, who had just had her baby O.J early because his movements had stopped. She told me to ring the hospital. I was told to come in soon as I could. I got in touch with Darren, had no way of getting there apart from on the back of his motorbike. Hadn't been able to ride on it much in the last month cos my tummy was that big. But that day we had no choice.

Got to the LRI, Leicester Royal Infirmary at around 10.00am-10.30am went straight to the Maternity Unit but was then sent to the midwife clinic in the birthing center, where they put a foetal heart monitor on me. Chenai's heartbeat was OK, which re-assured us a little. They made me drink more water to try & get her to move, but she just wasn't having it. I was there for about an hour, but they couldn't keep me much longer as they need the monitor for other people who had only come for check ups.

The lovely midwife that was looking after me, told me they were sending me upstairs so they could check on us more and they could keep me in if they needed to. Upstairs a lady met us, & put me in my own room then I lay on the bed, and they carried on monitoring Chenai's heartbeat. The doctor on call came in and did a scan to see where her head was & said we are going to induce you. Reason being 1) "if we send you home your mind won't rest if baby doesn't move" & 2) "it's only a week away from your due date so it wont warm her. Babies tend to slow down near the end cos they have just had enough & wanna come out".

They gave me a pessary and said they would check me in six hours & then if they could they would break my water, if not they would give me another pessary. So I told Daz to go home and feed our cat Rossi & pick up my bag. It was far too big to bring on bike, so his step-dad had to bring him in the car. "Well a girl needs her things" well some of it was Chenai's clothes & stuff she would need once she was born. They gave me the first pessary at 2.45, it was going OK. Wasn't in much pain only having little contractions, only showing on the monitor.

Daz got back and bless him he was falling asleep, I just left him to it as not much was happening & its not like I needed him at that point, I needed him rested and I knew when I did need him he would be there for me. It was a little after 9pm they was so busy, Jo the midwife on call, had just got round to me, she told me my waters looked like they could be broken. After she had broken my waters, that's when the pains started. The contractions got stronger. Would've been about 10pm when Jo (midwife) went home & Wendy came on. I didn't know what to make of her at the start, but she soon grew on me. When you're in that much pain and she is the only one who knows how to help, they become like your best friend. I was sick of sitting on that bed I wanted to get up and walk some of the pain off. Wendy talked to the doctor and came back and said you can come off the monitor for a while but you will have to go back on it soon.

I remembered a friend of mine telling me a warm bath helped her so I dragged poor Daz to the bathroom. It was so lovely it help the pain in some way. Right from the start when I found out I was pregnant, I wanted a water birth but cos of the lack of movements and needing to be on the monitor, it was a big NO NO. I didn't mind, just has long as we knew Chenai was OK and it was so nice hearing her heartbeat.

Went back to my little room Wendy came into and asked if I wanted some painkillers, I said yes please. She also asked if I would like an epidural. They don't normally let you have one until you are so far dilated but because I had been induced and Chenai was facing wrong way I could have one now. I said I wanted one. I was moved into a delivery room my epidural was delayed due to the on call doctor being busy so I asked for pethidine to help with the pain until I could have the epidural.
I was also using gas and air so together the drugs made me high, I just wanted to go to sleep. I was also on a drip to make my contractions stronger and get baby out quicker. Finally I got my epidural and it didn't work! I had this really strong pain in my right side, even the gas and air wasn't helping take my mind off it, they now think this is when Chenai was haemorrhaging into me. I was still on the monitor, her heart beat started to dip low. A woman rushed in asked to take some blood from baby's head, of course I said yes. They needed to check the gases in her blood to show them how much oxygen was in her system and also her haemoglobin levels. Her figure should have been 20, but it came back 6.9...they said "we need to get baby out quick".

One of the staff was telling me what they needed to do and asked me to read a paper and sign it. I didn't need to read it, I knew what would happen, I learned about C-section in my Mums and Tums classes. I said "yes, yes I know, I understand, let's get down there and get baby out safe". So they rush me into theatre the epidural still wouldn't work so I needed a General Anaesthetic so they put me to sleep. I don't remember much then, only Wendy helping me take my piercings out and drink some stuff to stop me being sick.

I woke up to a bright light. I was lay on my back with an oxygen mask on. Didn't know where Daz was, but Wendy was there with me. I asked where Daz and our baby was, Wendy went and got him. He told me Chenai was upstairs, she had trouble breathing but she would be back down soon. Wendy said it was pretty normal when the baby was born with the umbilical cord around their neck. Daz had seen her quickly, then they rushed her upstairs to the neo-natal unit. We couldn't stop smiling, we were just so happy, we were parents, our baby was here! I wanted to know everything about her...to know what she looked like, what she weighed. I couldn't see her myself so asked if I could see a picture of her. Debbie who was the new midwife looking after me rang upstairs they said they would send a pic down with someone and she weighed 7lb 1oz, and was born at 5.35am. About 5 minters later a very nice paediatrician called Andy, came down to talk to us.

Our nightmare and all our worries then began. He started off with "I am ever so sorry to tell you but your little girl is very poorly", every parent's worse fear. Apparently her haemoglobin level was 4.1 when she got upstairs, that she had been starved of oxygen. He asked if they could put her on the Toby McGuire project, a cooling mattress and a cooling hat. It was experimental but studies had shown it helped to stop/reduce brain damage. They also asked if they could give her a blood transfusion because she had lost alot of blood. A baby should have 500mls of blood in their body but she had lost about 250mls of hers. This was also bad for me, because Chenai had her daddy's blood group Rhesus D+ and I was Rhesus D-. I looked at Daz & he just fell apart. First thing that came into his head that she was gunna die. I knew I had to be the strong one. I told Andy "yes please. Do all that you can to help her, you don't need to ask us just do what's in your power to make her better". We both agreed.

Andy left to help our baby, poor Daz was in bits. I asked for the sides on the bed to be put down so I could hold him. We held eachother. I told him we have to have faith, stay strong for Chenai, cos if we gave up on her, she would have nothing to fight for. I said me and her hadn't gone though all of last night for nothing. I have never been a believer in God and I wasn't going to start, when I said we needed faith, I meant faith and hope in Chenai, in her fighting to live and in what the doctors could do. I wouldn't stop asking for my picture, I wanted to see my little girl, so Debbie rang up and made it so I could go up and see her. I got in there on my bed cos I couldn't walk due to having a C-section and being put to sleep, some how they got me in there, a tight room with about 8 incubators. A room full of tiny babies, so small and poorly. I could hardly see her in this big fish tank looking thing, and I couldn't hold her but I knew her being in there, was making her better, that was the main thing. She was the biggest and healthiest looking baby in that room. It was hard to think she was so poorly.

They took me back down to my own room where I could rest. They told Daz to go home and get some sleep. All the family came in bit by bit to see her. Daz could only take two people at a time up to her cotside. That night one of the midwifes changed my bed took me up stairs to see Chenai in a wheel chair. I was still on a drip to help with the pain, but I didn't care I wanted to see my baby.

When I came back down they had give my room to another lady in labour. They had no other rooms so they put me on a ward with other mums who had their babies with them. I just couldn't stop crying cos I could hear babies all around me and my child wasn't at my side. It was getting late and I just wanted to sleep and have something to eat. Wendy was back on her shift and came to her how I was and how Chenai was. She could see I was very upset, so she rang ward 5 told them I needed a room to myself, that it wasn't fair I was around babies. So they took me to my own room and as soon as my head touched the pillow I was fast asleep.

I was up at 7am in pain, walking around, desperately wanting to go upstairs to see Chenai. I didn't want to rest like they were telling me to, I couldn't rest. So one of the midwives took me up in a wheelchair after I had taken a shower and had something to eat. Then Daz came in to see me. Because I had my own room and also because of the seriousness of Chenai's condition, Daz could come and go at different times. He could even stop over, but the cat needed feeding and we thought he would be uncomfortable sleeping in a chair.

We went upstairs to see our little girl together, he had to take me in the wheelchair of course. One of the senior midwives came to see us and told me that I needed some anti-D, but they needed to test my blood to find out how much I needed. They said I might need more then the 250 units they would routinely give you after the baby is born. They found out I needed 10,000 units. To get this I had to go back upstairs to the maternity clinic. They explained to have by injection in my bum I would need to be injected 17 times, so they were going to give me a drip. While we were waiting for the drip, Maggie Meaks, the doctor who was looking after Chenai came and talked to us. She explained the best she could that Chenai would be brain damaged. They were not sure how badly, she may have only been blind, or had learning difficulties, or she could have had Cerebral Palsy, but they needed to do a M.R.I scan to see how bad it would be. This meant they needed to warm her little body back up the next day.

As they started to warm her back up on tuesday, she had a massive epileptic fit. It happened because when she lost all her blood, it starved some of her brain of oxygen and damaged it. They rang the ward where I was and told us we needed to get there now, that something had happened, she had deteriorated. Maggie Meaks told us that Chenai was really ill and there wasn't much they could do. They could keep trying but she would probably die in the incubator. The fit had started to shut down her organs and the drugs weren't help to stop it. We just wanted to hold her and let her die peacefully with us around her. We rang as many close family as we could to be with us and to be with her so that she could feel she was surrounded by love as she drifted away. We sat in a side room where we could hold her in private and. We all had a hold, a kiss and a cuddle. Chenai slipped away quickly and peacefully, a good thing, as we didn't want her in any pain.

The first time I could hold my baby, was the time I lost her. It was so hard to let her go, I wanted to enjoy her in my arms for as long as I could!

Deeply loved & sadly missed by Mummy, Daddy, Grandad dave,Grandad Ian, Granmam kate, Granmam ruth, Granmam Karen, Grate Gramam Jean, Grate Grandad Ken, Auntie kat, Auntie Kayleigh, Aunite Gemma, Uncle lee, Uncle Jason & Rossi the Cat.

Chenai now has a baby brother Corey he was born 12/5/2008 such a happy little lad, he blows kiss's to her photo everynight before bed.